Fools Classic – “Only one dirt section and we already look like Hell!”

By CJ Rudy

 

The Hell of Hunterdon hogged the goodness this year. This was obvious the morning of the ride. Last year saw 45 riders roll out while this year saw cold and wet conditions that intimidated many.

 

While the weather conditions were less than ideal the night before the event, a pre-ride email message by event director Brian Ignatin (Kermesse Sport) simply asked, “What Would Tom Boonen Do?” Apparently the entrants searched within themselves and asked the same questions, arriving at the conclusion that Tom Boonen would ride in the gritty conditions.  The roads were glazed and the dirt was waiting. Tom would definitely go; 22 riders followed his lead.  Of the participants, one rider came as far away as Maryland to take part in the ride.

 

The “Fools” were thrown deep into the grit as the peloton cruised down the first dirt sector on Cuttalossa Rd in the rain, emerging onto River Rd looking scary.  Every rider’s face was caked with mud, despite some provisional fender applications. Road grit found its way into teeth and kits in its typical manner.

 

Some riders swore allegiance to Euro riding and neglected to skip the optional portion of Bradshaw Rd.  Using the Paris Roubaix ranking system, Bradshaw’s half mile sector was rated as five-stars, as it consisted of larger stones.  Though the parallel Point Pleasant Pike was an official option, many riders cited paying for the full experience, and did not skip the sector.   

 

According to the official statistics, the Fools Classic amassed total elevation gain of ca 5,000 feet.  Of all the climbs, Lodi Hill Rd. provided a heart checker. The steepness, mixed with gravel and rain tested riders’ moxie on two switchbacks. Several climbs took place in the dank unpaved roads of Upper Bucks County. The emergence of springtime leaves created foreboding areas that bordered on eerie.

 

At mile 42, riders were greeted by wonderful volunteers at the feed zone at Tinicum Park, who offered fresh fruit, cookies, refreshments, and human contact.  The stop helped return feeling to numbed body parts. Though there is a long stretch down River Rd., the final miles of the Fools Classic were anything but easy. The final climb sent riders up and over Buckingham Mountain, better known as Holicong Rd.

 

All Fools were greeted at the finish with hot chili, hot soup, and complementary River Horse Lager and Hop Hazard.  Due to all of the no shows, each pre-registered rider left with terrific raffle prizes.